(Donald A. Duncan, Sara Freed)

(TUNE: A Place In The Choir By Bill Staines)

CHO: All God's critters got a place in the Fire
Some are roasters, some are Fryers
We cook 'em all as they require
And serve them up with jams or sauces, or anything we've got now...

Cows and pigs make many a meal
Steak and hamburger, liver and veal,
Ribs and bacon, chops and peel,
All the pig except the squeal.

Sheep and goats may take the crown;
The Darby ram fed two whole towns
Mutton helps the ale go down
Or was that the other way around? [spoken musinglyl


We gnaw up chickens piece by piece,
And gobble turkeys at every Feast.
Peking ducks and goose pate'
Fowl is fare eaten any old way!

Swimmin' in the rivers, swimmin' in the sea
Fish make dinners for you and me,
Fried or broiled or poached in sauce,
And Yuppies eat it raw! (spoken disparagingly. or as an epithet)


Things that crawl on the ocean Floor
Things that live along the shore
Crabs and lobsters, clams and more,
Shuck the shell and eat the core.

We eat'em in the nighttime, eat 'em in the day,
Gorge ourselves at work and play:
If it walks or crawls or swims or Flies,
We chuck it on the grill and give it a try.


Optional verses for strong stomachs aka "Vegetarian's Horror'·
or Carnivore's Delight"

We slice 'em and dice 'em and skewer them through
Sauce 'em and gloss 'em in savory brew
Slap them on the barbecue
And breathe that wonderful smell!

Pickled pigs-Feet, leg of Frog.
Eat a horse, or toast a dog,
Sweetmeats and tripe, offal in grog
Not to mention (Haggis and) Rocky Mountain oysters!"

Kill 'em with guns or clubs or knives
Whack 'em, stab 'em, boil them alive:
Hang 'em, bleed 'em into a trough,
Or twist their necks 'til their heads come off!

Skin 'em, slice them into parts,
Fry their liver, dice the heart.
When you've carved out all the choicest cuts,
Grind the rest to pack the guts.

Copyright Duncan snd Freed

@food @parody
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