DIET SONG
(Shel Silverstein)

Breakfast: black coffee, one slice of dry toast, no butter, no jelly, no jam.
Lunch: just some lettuce, two celery stalks, no booze, no potatoes, no ham.
Dinner: one chicken wing, broiled, not fried; no biscuits, no gravy, no pie,
And this diet'n', diet'n', diet,'n', diet'n', sure is a rough way to die.

So pass me a carrot stick, peel me a prune, one glass of skim milk and that's al
l.
Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial, it's drivin' me straight up the wall
.
I'm thinkin' of french fries, sausage and waffles, spaghetti, and cookies and ca
ke,
And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream, an' I'm starvin' to death wh
en I wake,
All for your sake.

Well you're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes but it's bullion a
nd water for me,
And you've got a lock on the refrigerator. God knows where you're hidin' the key
,
And while I am starvin' for food late at night, I'm starvin' for lovin' from you
,
But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be happy to look at it too.

So, suffer two pieces of cauliflower raw, some beefsteak the size of a nail,
One slice of tomato, a small dab of slaw, Lord, I swear I ate better in jail.
Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose. Girl, that's the least you can do,
And put down that candy bar while I am singin'. I'm starvin' my ass off for you.

And when I am dead, with the insurance paid, you'll look down at me and you'll g
rin,
And say, "Well, the boy tried and he starved and he died, but don't he look good
when he's thin."

copyright Shel Silverstein
@food
filename[ DIETSONG
XX
mudcat.org

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