THE GNU SONG
(Michael Flanders and Donald Swann, 1956)

A year ago last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo,
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot.
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons
And the number of quills a porcupine has got.
So I asked him: "What's that creature there?" He answered, "Oh, it's a helk."
I might have gone on thinking that was true,
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
And remarked, "I hain't a helk. I'm a g-nu.

"I'm a g-nu. I'm a g-nu,
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo.
I'm a g-nu. How do you do?
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho.
I'm a g-nu, spelt G-N-U.
I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo.
So let me introduce: I'm g-neither man nor moose.
Oh g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu."

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustingham-on-Sea,
Whence I traveled on to Ashton under Lyne,
And the second night I stayed there, I was wakened from a dream,
Which i'll tell you all about some other time.
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed,
Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew.
A bison? Nay. An okapi? Hmm. Could it be a hartebeest?
Then I seemed to hear a voice: "I'm a g-nu.

"I'm a g-nu, a g-nother g-nu.
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you.
I'm a g-nu. How do you do?
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho.
I'm a g-nu, spelt G-N-U.
Call me 'bison' or 'okapi' and I'll sue.
G-nor am I in the least like that dreadful hartebeest.
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu.
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu."

(From the album "At The Drop of a Hat.")
@animal
filename[ IMGNU
JD
mudcat.org

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