Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station, I love you.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station
Moonlight always makes me think of you
If you really must pass water
Kindly call the Pullman porter
He'll place a vessel in your vestibule
As I sit here tearing tissue
Oh, my darling, how I miss you
Everything I do, I do for you.
Since I'm going with your daughter
I've had trouble passing water
Sorry that I ever came to town
I'm the guy that did the pushin'
Dirtied up the front seat cushion
Footprints on the dashboard upside down
Promenading in the park,
Goosing statues after dark
If Sherman's horse can take it why can't you
To the tune of Humoresque