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THE BALLAD OF ALFRED PACKER (Waste Not, Want Not) In the Colorado Rockies, Where the snow is deep and cold And a man afoot can starve to death Unless he's brave and bold They sing of Alfred Packer And some of them still rave 'Bout the Hinsdale County Democrats Who never saw a grave Old Packer set out on a trip With five of his old friends In the Colorado Rockies In the snow and howling winds But the way was long and weary And the food got mighty short But Alfred had his dinner On the very last resort Oh, Alfred Packer, you'll surely go to hell While all the others starved to death You dined a bit too well Old Packer, fat and healthy Came down onto the plains He was lonely, he was horny But he had no stomach pains When he told his story It made the strong men pale So they grabbed old Alfred Packer And they flang him into jail They brought old Packer to the court And had a speedy trial A gory tale it was he told That went into the file The testimony shook the judge Who trembled where he sat He was horrified, but then of course He was a Democrat Oh, Alfred Packer Please tell me for my sake Did the Hinsdale County Democrats Give you a tummy ache Old Packer didn't kill them He just et 'em when they died So they couldn't call it murder Or even fratricide But they sent old Al to prison To settle up his debt For all the votin' Democrats That Alfred Packer et When the judge pronounced the sentence He was in a righteous rage And what he said can still be read Upon the yellowed page He wished that he could hang old Al Until completely dead So when he banged the gavel It was in anger that he said "Oh, Alfred Packer You should be skinned alive There was only seven Democrats And you bastard, you et five @cannibal @political filename[ ALPACKER TUNE FILE: ALPACKER CLICK TO PLAY DP apr97 |
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