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The Mudcat Cafesj

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(John Shiels)

One morning fair in Janu'ry, as I roamed for curiosity
Down by a neighboring granary along the flowing tide
Where the solar rays perplexingly from THE ethereal canopy
Displayed a bright transparency, this maiden I espied.
She appeared to me some deity, in splendor she was dressed,
And courteously accosting me, these words she then expressed,
"If experienced in ontology, relate without tautology
The pristine aestheology of my cuckoo's nest."

I stood in great astonishment and swore I'd suffer banishment
Before I to her blandishment would amply comply
Dreading some calamity had tainted that curst cavity
Or else that same commodity my member might destroy.
Then instantly she flattered me, she swore she could not rest
And I candidly avow to you that I thought she was distressed
For to lay my hand upon her breast she swore she'd be forever blest
Had I a moment but caress'd her cuckoo's nest.

Now on hearing this repetition of her loose abandon'd condition
I took a quick transition and I journeyed on my way
But she then pursued me speedily, exhorting me most wickedly
Saying, "Sir, you see me sickly, so why DO you not obey?"
Her malady appeared to me an amatory pest
Unwillingly would I agree unto HER desired behest
She said, "Sir, your animosity excites my generosity
To show you the curiosity of my cuckoo's nest."

Then said I, "My lovely she, pray thank your own audacity
For having thus attracted me or else I'd not avail,
For it's oft I've heard in history how heroes of antiquity,
While striving to gain ascendancy, more often they did fail."
"And Solomon, the virtuous man, the wisest and the best
And Samson, whom the Philistynes in Gaza did arrest
Oh, Hector, Paris, ACHilles, Petrocleus and Hercules
All suffered with great Ulysses for the cuckoo's nest.

Then she said, "Kind sir, your colloquy is fraught with vain frivolity
Desist, unite in gallantry and join in harmony
And treat me satisfact'rily and I'll sound your name through Cathary
And all along to Drogheda, each town and barony."
I must confess I did my best, though knowing I transgress'd
And my arms I wrapped around her waist, and I closely her caressed
From one to ten this maid to me was lovely, pleased, and kind and free
'Til I at length was forced to flee from her cuckoo's nest.

Now I've travelled through Russia and Germany, and o'er the Alps through Italy
Around by the isle of Sicily and back again to Spain
Naples, Rome and Tuscany, DenMARK and Sweden and Normandy
The Netherlands and Saxony, though France and then Lorraine.
Silesia, Galicia, the Indies, East and West
Britannia and gay Tartary, which Mohammed did possess
But in all my rambles ne'er was I reduced to such a low degree
As I was when trying to satisfy her cuckoo's nest.

SOURCE: Frank Harte (Augusta Heritage Festival, July 1995)
note: Harte says:"the song was written by John Shiels the ballad
poet from Drogheda..he also wrote that other big ballad
'The Rights of Man' and many others." RPf
filename[ CUCKNEST

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