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DIET SONG (Shel Silverstein) Breakfast: black coffee, one slice of dry toast, no butter, no jelly, no jam. Lunch: just some lettuce, two celery stalks, no booze, no potatoes, no ham. Dinner: one chicken wing, broiled, not fried; no biscuits, no gravy, no pie, And this diet'n', diet'n', diet,'n', diet'n', sure is a rough way to die. So pass me a carrot stick, peel me a prune, one glass of skim milk and that's al l. Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial, it's drivin' me straight up the wall . I'm thinkin' of french fries, sausage and waffles, spaghetti, and cookies and ca ke, And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream, an' I'm starvin' to death wh en I wake, All for your sake. Well you're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes but it's bullion a nd water for me, And you've got a lock on the refrigerator. God knows where you're hidin' the key , And while I am starvin' for food late at night, I'm starvin' for lovin' from you , But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be happy to look at it too. So, suffer two pieces of cauliflower raw, some beefsteak the size of a nail, One slice of tomato, a small dab of slaw, Lord, I swear I ate better in jail. Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose. Girl, that's the least you can do, And put down that candy bar while I am singin'. I'm starvin' my ass off for you. And when I am dead, with the insurance paid, you'll look down at me and you'll g rin, And say, "Well, the boy tried and he starved and he died, but don't he look good when he's thin." copyright Shel Silverstein @food filename[ DIETSONG XX |
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