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THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF JAKE THACKRAY (Jake Thackray) I, the under-mentioned, by this document do declare my true intentions, My last will, my testament. when I turn up my toes, when I rattle my clack, when I agonise, I want no great wet weepings No tearing of hair, no wringing of hands No sighs, no lack-a-days No woe-is-me's and none of your sad adieus. Go go go and get the priest And then go get the booze, boys. Death, where is they victory? Grave, where is thy sting? When I snuff it bury me quickly then let carousels begin. But not a do with a few ham sandwiches A sausage roll or two And "a small port wine please". Roll the carpet right back Get cracking with your old Gay Gordons and your knees up, shake it up, live it up, sup it up Hell of a kind of a time. And if the coppers come around Well tell them the party's mine, boys. Let best beef be eaten, fill every empty glass, Let no breast be beaten let no tooth be gnashed. Don't bother with a fancy tombstone or A big-deal angel or a little copper flower pot Grow a dog rose in my eyes or a pussy willow But no forget-me-nots, no epitaphs no keepsakes You can let my memory slip. You can say a prayer or two for my soul then But make it quick, boys. Lady, if your bosom is heaving don't waste your bosom on me Let it heave for a man who's breathing A man who can feel, a man who can see. And to my cronies you can read my books You can drive around in my motor car And you can fish your trout with my fly and tackle You can play on my guitar, And sing my songs, wear my shirts You can even settle my debts. You can kiss my little missus if she's willing then but - no regrets, boys. Your rosebuds are numbered Gather them now for rosebuds'sake. And if your hands aren't too encumbered Gather a bud or two for Jake. @will filename[ LSTWILL XX |
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