Joe, here I go.

Contri #1

Fast Pair of Skis ================= [Tune] Sweet Betsy from Pike To get full effect "ski" is pronounced "she" - see below

I love to go tramping around Dawson Falls,
The climate's superb and the scenery enthralls,,
There's punga and mamaku and Fuschia trees,,
It's a swell place to go with a fast pair of skis.

[Chorus] When it's cold, and you freeze,,
You can always keep warm with a fast pair of skis.,

Along comes [Joe Offer] with a drip on his nose,,
And what has he brought with him do you suppose?,
Some pineapple chunks, and a half pound of cheese,,
A dozen pork sausages and a fast pair of skis.

And here comes [Catspaw] that promising lad,,
It's clear he's been up to some mischief, the cad;,
He's covered in snow from his ears to his knees,,
For he got tangled up with a fast pair of skis.

King David lay dying and couldn't get warm,,
They brought a fair virgin to take him by storm,,
Said David, "To hell with prescriptions like these,,
Tell the eunuchs to bring me a fast pair of skis.

[Last verse, sung as a dirge]

Alas, and alack, even trampers grow old.,
With mountains too lofty and virgins too cold,,
But while we can totter, we'll puff and we'll wheeze,,
Up the old hill, for the old thrill - a fast pair of skis.

---

I assume this song originated with VUW Tramping Club in the 1930s or 40s, when there was a raging controversy over the pronunciation of the word "ski" - was it "Skeee" or "Sheee". Dawson Falls is on Mt Egmont, in Taranaki, North Island NZ, it was the nearest base for Wellingtonians to go skiing.

Think the only Kiwism's you need to know are "punga" (pronounced "poong-ah" and "mamaku" ("Ma-Ma-Coo") both species of tree fern. Incidentally, "Fuchsia trees" is quite correct. NZ's Fuchsia excorticata is just a tad bigger than the tender South American pot-plants you devote TLC to. They grow to 50' feet with a trunk as wide as me. TRUE

Hmmm... the [name] should be obvious.

C'mon Catters......

The above is a true classic, that deserves air time. I'm sure it can be adapted to most parts of the world if you give a "ski-she" intro.

"Wee Tarts", gimme a cuddle. I need it! I "plighted my troth" (proposed) to Linda at Dawson Falls.

Fuggit, despite those memories, it's a fuggin' good song!

Tears streamin' down my cheeks.

Sam