^^ REX, THE PIDDLING PUP A farmer's dog came into town His Christian name was Rex A noble pedigree had he Unusual was his text And as he trotted down the street 'twas beautiful to see His work on every corner His work on every tree He watered every gateway, too, And never missed a post. For piddling was his specialty And piddling was his boast. The city curs looked on amazed With deep and jealous rage To see a simple country dog The piddler of the age. Then all the dogs from everywhere Were summoned with a yell, To sniff the country stranger o'er And judge him by his smell. Some thought that he a king might be Beneath his tail a rose, So every dog drew near to him And sniffed it up his nose. They smelled him over one by one They smelled him two by two And noble Rex, in high disdain, Stood still till they were through. Then just to show the whole shebang He didn't give a damn He trotted in a grocery store And piddled on a ham. He piddled in a mackerel keg He piddled on the floor, And when the grocer kicked him out He piddled through the door. Behind him all the city dogs Lined up with instinct true To start a piddling carnival And see the stranger through. They showed him every piddling post They had in all the town. And started in with many a wink To pee the stranger down. They sent for champion piddlers Who were always on the go, Who sometimes did a piddling stunt Or gave a piddling show. They sprung these on him suddenly When midway in the town; Rex only smiled and polished off The ablest, white or brown. Now Rex was with them every trick With vigor and with vim. A thousand piddles more or less, Were all the same to him. So he was wetting merrily With hind leg kicking high, When most were hoisting legs, in bluff And piddling mighty dry. On and on Rex sought new grounds By piles and scraps and rust, Till every city dog went dry And piddled only dust. But on and on went noble Rex As wet as any rill, And all the champion city pups Were pee'd to a standstill. Then Rex did free-hand piddling With fancy flirts and flits Like "double dip" and "gimlet twist" And all those latest hits. And all the time this country dog Did never wink or grin, But piddled blithely out of town As he has piddled in The city dogs conventions held To ask, "What did defeat us?" But no on ever put them wise That Rex had diabetes.
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