I Can't Reach My Beer by Frankee
(A slow,country, dirge-like, cry in your beer waltz sung with a nasal twang. Think Faron Young.)

When we first started courting
You made me feel like a king
But now that you left me I don't feel a thing
Lying face down in this barroom and missing you dear
Help I've fallen and I can't reach my beer

If I could get one shot of courage
I'd stand on my feet
Get up out of this sawdust and into the street
Well I'd find your new boyfriend and punch him into next year
But help I've fallen and I can't reach my beer

BRIDGE

Oh who would of thought I'd wind up like this
Can't even stand up to take me a... to the lavatory
I guess I'll spend my life on this old barroom floor
Cursing your name and calling you a whor,-or,-or,-or -rible person.

But fightin' and hatin' ain't no way to live
So I guess I'll have to find a way to forgive
In fact I'd like to drink a toast to the one who put me down here
But help I've fallen and I can't reach my beer
(additional line) My darlin', I've fallen and I can't reach my beer