"Bastardy"? Nice word. And 14 points in Scrabble. ;0)

What about a song about a young man who has been roving for many years, unwisely spending all his original funds on spirits and ale, but who, finally making good, returns home a wealthy man, determined to settle down.

I can imagine a scene in which our hero goes to one of his old drinking haunts and, as a joke, asks the Landlady whether he can start a slate. She would initially be sceptical about his ability to pay and be quite unpleasant to him.

The young man could then defuse the situation by producing a few gold coins and the Landlady could cover her embarrassment by pretending she had only been joking. She would then offer him a selection of the finest whiskeys and beers.

After that, the protagonist could determine to go home to his parents and make a full confesion of his misdeeds. Being a lovable rogue, he would no doubt be reasonably confident of their forgiveness - they might even have forgiven him on several previous occasions.

The song would finish with a rousing chorus in which the protagonist reasserts his determination not to go travelling again.

Just an idea.