If you're a good looking, young woman, and you've got a name like "Shawn" or one that can be shortened to something like, "Bar" or "Dar", then you can ignore all of the above rules and write something like, "My boyfriend was acting like a real putz so I made myself a cup of coffee, but then, when I went to bed, I had a hell of a time falling asleep," and practically everyone between 16 and 26 years old will come to hear you sing it.