Allan, I do understand that you are not a 'complete gadabout' (nice expression !) and are arguing philosophies here. So am I. I still think you have yet to understand what is being said here. If you re-read the 8th and 9th paragraphs of Ellenpoly's post of 05.06 AM, she has set out, very clearly, some of the emotional/psychological consequences. Like it or not, deny it or not, 'recreational sex' DOES have its consequences. Like it or not, deny it or not, what we do with and to our bodies DOES affect our psyche/soul/spirit (call it what you will), and vice versa.

As for the vast array of 'self-help' books on the market, I am inclined to agree with you Harvey, and Guest of 09.06 AM. This particular book is part of teaching material for a post-divorce discussion programme. Nobody is making money out of it.

In all areas of life, and throughout life, we make mistakes. In the aftermath, we have the choice of making changes, possibly difficult, painful changes to the way we act, react, view the world.... or of continuing on the same old way. The latter may appear to be the easier option, but it comes with a cost. The next time that particular situation arises unless we have been willing to change, we make the same mistake again...and again...

Sometimes, when someone reacts very energetically against a viewpoint, it may be because they have recognized the inherent truth in it. That is why discussions like this are so good and so useful.

Ellenpoly & 'Middle-aged Man' - thank you both very much for your posts. Yes - your thoughts on this are the same as mine.

Brucie: You LIKE CATS? I thought so. I always had you down as a sensitive and trustworthy and lovely fella. You just went to the wrong girl in the wrong supermarket, that's all. Hope this makes you feel a bit better :)