My first boyfriend's father shot himself. My friend was riddled with guilt, as he had been a twelve year old playing with the gun that his father shot himself with. He always blamed himself and later suicided by the same method in his early thirties.

My partner (now ex) of 14 years was also the son of a man who shot himself (my partner was 7 at the time). His mother and older brother never got over it, and carried a deep streak of hurt with them always. Their husband/father was under political pressure at the time, and there was always bitterness about that aspect.

My ex missed out on a lot, growing up with the grief and tragedy, but grew into a kind and talented person. While he carried a huge amount of guilt and grief in his younger years, he moved on (group therapy). he has lived a life of achievement, is fulfilling his musical and artistic potential, and has a good life.

There is more support and understanding for people with suicidal urges nowadays, and for the families that suffer the devastation afterwards. no one can ever be responsible, but that is so hard to believe when you're personally involved.