There was a scare at the Dounreay Nuclear facility in Scotland some time ago when contaminated metal pipes and other material went missing. The McCalmans sing this version of the event. Ah'm The Man That Muffed It (Nancy Nicolson) CHORUS Ah'm the man that muffed it, ah'm the man that boobed Ah'm the man that lost the radioactive tubes So ah'll ask ma process workers to tell me whaur it's gane For if it took a dander surely it was seen Wullie the crofter could it be you No it wisnae one ah took ... ah took two One has pinned ma gate shut, the other's in the park Its grand fine glow takes me safely through the dark (Chorus) Angie the fisherman tell the truth tae me No it wisnae one ah took ... ah took three One is on my nets, it makes a damn fine float The other two's a microwave oven in ma boat (Chorus) Wha's that sneakin' out an' through the door It's Hector the whisky maker ... ah took four Ah run ma barley bree through a tubie tae distil Ah sell the malt tae ye boys, that's how ye get yer fill (Chorus) In nuclear Caithness atoms are good news They brought the jobs an' money we'd be stupid tae refuse So now we've nuclear fish, fine atomic coos Plutonium-coated people an' radioactive booze Last chorus: Ah'm the man that muffed it ah'm the chiel that boobed Ah wonder will they find the radioactive tube But there's no' goin' tae be a search or any big to-do For the storeman says he lost all the Geiger-counters too
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