John, You need to get help. And you need to get it very soon. There are groups in Hull that will welcome and help you. You have to make a decision, though, that you want to help yourself. I've been there, my friend, and understand how hopeless you now feel. I also now know that it doesn't have to be that way. I pray you'll get the help you need. I am a friend of Bill W. You should become one too.
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