(...and for the love of cake, Vic, see that the beer vendors in row 34 help Bobert move out the rest of the chickens discreetly?!?!...What? No, no...tell him we'll pay double what we originally promised and...and throw in two free passes and a six-pack for the Hamster vs. BillD match next Thursday...I mean this is pay-per-view, man! Oh yeah...set things straight on the MG/GS confusion for the old boy too, would ya? that was last week's feud...No, Vic...Martin's NOT the hairy guy...that's the toupee'...what? we're back on? oh sh...)

...iiiIIIT'S shaping up to be an incredible feud, ladies and gents, UUUUNBELIEVEABLE, in all my five minutes...*cough* years of experience as announcer I can say I've NEVER seen a steel-cage match like this one. It seems...yes, good lord, it IS William's hairpiece is trying to put the sleeper hold on Shatner while inflatable Maggie has him pinned in the corner with the help of her...her..ah...her very generous bosom, folks...

SWEET BEEF!!! WAIT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! IT SEEMS THAT ESMERELDA THE GOAT HAS BROKEN FREE OF HER LEASH!!! SHE'S CLIMBING UP THE SIDES OF THE CAGE AND...OOOH! JUST ADMINISTERED A DEVESTATING PILEDRIVER ON...ON THE INFLATABLE THATCHER!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! THATCHER'S SPRUNG A LEAK SHE'S FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!

*DING!!!*

...and there's Round One! Good lord what a turn of events...the two challengers have actually teamed up and made a four-way! Amos, our referee and religious director of the Temple of the Golden Globes has caught Thatcher and they've called for emergency duck-tape...Meanwhile one of our ringside commentators has gone to interview Esmerelda and I see Brucie and Little Hawk are there as well, apparently trying to reason with Esmerelda...folks, Little Hawk is weeping openly this is a very emotional turn of events for him...I can't imagine why the goat would team up with the very man she challenged unless she plans on eliminating the competition first and taking on Shatner alone...but we'll have the interview in just a moment following a message from our sponsor...beer...

(*covers mike* so Vic...how many commentators have we got again? Are they covering all angles? Good...our ratings are shooting through the roof let's keep 'em climbing. Get me some water and a Moon Pie would ya Vic? thanks...)