Desperate 25 time loser in romantic relationships seeks ideal female partner with perfect body and loving nature to pursue mutual bliss objectives and secure a higher rate of return on our combined emotional investments, ensuring dividends that will mature as the years go by and provide us with equity beyond our wildest dreams. You must be good with tupperware and know how to repair socks. You must think that accounting is a very exciting and meaningful profession with heroic overtones. No New Agers, please!