The new 1964 version, recorded live on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show on 27 May 1964...

G R A N A D A! Camp Granada, bleeeck!

Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh. I am back at Camp Granada.
And I'm writing you this letter just to say my compound fracture's getting better.
No one here knows where my trunk is and my bunk is where the skunk is.
And this year the food's improving 'cause the little black things in it are not moving.

Our camp nurse is quite a swimmer. She says swimming makes you slimmer.
Her name's Mrs. Pellegrini. Have you ever seen a whale in a bikini?
All our bathrooms have such thin doors. Gee, I wish they'd move them indoors.
We're all tired of Mother Goose here. So next Friday night they're having Lenny Bruce here.

Let me stay, oh Muddah, Fadduh. Let me stay, I love Granada.
Every night the camp fire's really keen. Oh mom, please send some Unguentine.
Let me stay, out here in mother nature's land and tiptoe through the tulips grand.
To leave would be a shame. Besides, I'd miss the poker game.

Please don't worry, Fadduh, Muddah. I'll take care of little brother.
He plays ball here and he rows here and I hope they teach him how to blow his nose here.
He wakes up at half past six and goes directly to the quick sand.
He was lonely, now he's better. He's like all of us except his bed is wetter.