I'm going to finish with one of my own favourites.

The Musician's Union Rep is standing outside the Albert Hall in London, because there's a big all genre conference going on and he wants to do a survey. First of all, along comes a really posh bloke in a monkey suit [tuxedo to most of you!], and he asks him, 'Excuse me sir, can you tell me what you play' 'Yes, most certainly, I'm the first violinist with the London Philharmonic' 'And can you tell me your IQ?' 'Oh.. about 160, I believe' 'Thank you very much'.

He notes down the answers and waits for the next victim. Shortly, along comes a bloke in jeans and a sports jacket, and he says to him 'Excuse me sir, can you tell me what you play?' 'Yes, I play double bass in a jazz band' 'And can you tell me your IQ?' 'Last time I checked it was about 140' 'Thank you very much.

[ED. you can spin this out as much as you like, and depending on who else you want to dig at]

Finally, along comes a real greebo - greasy leather jacket, hair down to his bum, knuckles trailing along the ground. The rep steps up to him and says 'Excuse me sir, I have one question for you' 'UUgh?' 'Where do you buy your sticks?'

Isn't that beautifully stereotyped and npc?

Thanks very much for all the contributions - I shall pass them on.

Freddie