The town of Twillingsgate was electrified today by the fast breaking news that our own Ms Penelope Rutledge, the belle of Twillingsgate, has returned home after a nearly 7-month sojourn in the southerly reaches of the Continent with the wealthy Spanish businessman and playboy, Arturo Espinoza. The now notorious Mr Espinoza is not British and he has a pencil-thin moustache. He is known to bet on the horses and consort with famous European actresses. He
has been seen with Ms Rutledge in Monaco, playing roulette and baccarat. Recently there were rumours of a rift in their relationship, following a mysterious night of violence 6 weeks ago at the Espinoza mansion near Barcelona.

Anonymous witnesses reported hearing gunshots, screams, and the sounds of sabers clashing! Mr Espinoza is known to have a fine collection of duelling swords, and it appears that at least
two of them were put to use in some confrontation recently, but the combatants remain nameless!

We attempted to contact Ms Rutledge's former companion, Captain Nigel West, recently on furlough in London to recover from his wounds, which were both corporial (due to fighting in
Iraq) and of the soul (due to seeing his beloved swept away by a swarthy, avaricious foreigner). He could shed no light on the recent incidents in Barcelona and refused comment, saying only,
"Estuary, you are an unholy, damned piece of slime. I hope you contract a nasty and fatal ailment, and die miserably, unmourned by even your mother!" He then hung up.

Evidently he is still not fully recovered from his injuries, more particularly the wounds of the heart. Indeed, this writer fears that his mind may have become permanently damaged.

Ms Rutledge was seen only 2 days ago at Heathrow Airport by our informant (who has asked to remain nameless), as she descended from a British Airways 747. She looked "tanned and fit",
but...brace yourselves for this...she bore what appeared to be a long, thin scar on her left cheek! What could this mean? Has some foul individual done violence to our Ms Rutledge? She was
met at arrivals by Mr Winston Wellington-Jones, a man who needs no introduction in Twillingsgate. They quickly departed to an unknown destination in London, and drove into Twillingsgate this morning in Mr Wellington-Jones's antique Bentley.

We attempted to contact Ms Rutledge without success. We did contact Wellington-Jones, and he said something that one cannot print in a family publication, and then hung up. Further calls were answered by the butler, who refused to answer any questions.

While we can all take great joy in the fact that Ms Rutledge has returned relatively unharmed to the bosom of her ancestral land and community, there are many disturbing matters afoot here
which need to be investigated before they are put to rest. It is this writer's opinion that this is only the beginning of a story that will rattle Twillingsgate society to its core, and have serious
repercussions as far as Buckingham Palace and Whitehall!

Stay tuned! The Twillingsgate Herald stands ready to keep you informed, blow by shocking blow, revelation by revelation, moment by rivetting moment!

- Mortimer Estuary, Assistant Editor, Twillingsgate Herald