Sung to the tune THE BLACK VELVET BAND, a song penned by the late Allick Sweeney from Larne, Co. Antrim:

THE BLACK BEDFORD VAN

In a neat little town they call Belfast,
Apprentice to trade I was bound
As a garage mechanic in Ligoniel,
For a wage that was less than a pound.
So I then did require transportation,
To get me from town to Strabane,
And before I had time to rue it,
I had purchased a black Bedford van.

CHORUS: And her headlights they shone like the diamonds.
She should have been ploughing the land;
And her silencer trailed on the road, me boys,
At the back of me black Bedford van.

I took a drive down Broadway,
And this maiden came tripping along.
With the half of me under the bonnet,
She asked, "Is there anything wrong?"
Says I, "Not a thing that I can't put right
With the aid of a 2-gallon can."
So I opened the door and I bundled her in
To the back of me black Bedford van. CHORUS

I took a drive with this pretty fair maid
Intending not to long for to stay,
But not being sure of the road, me boys,
Ended up on the new motorway.
Flat out she could do about 30.
We sailed up the road like a swan;
And the smoke and the noise they came pouring from
The back of me black Bedford van. CHORUS

Before a judge and a jury,
Next morning I had to appear.
And the judge he says to me, "Young man,
You're a damn lucky boy to be here.
We'll give you 6 months up the Crumlin.
You may spend them the best way you can;
And perhaps you'll think a few times before
You go out in your black Bedford van." CHORUS