Cor! There are some rotten bastards on this forum wot got no respect for their betters, that's wot I fink!

Anyway, we 'ave got an interestin' item wot just arrived in the mail. It's a parrot wot was purchased on Ebay by Mr Winston. Imagine me surprise when I opens the box it came in, and the first fing the bird says is, "B*gger off, ye stupid clot!" to me. That was just the beginnin'. It's "bugger this" and "sod that" and one fink after another wif this noisy blighter. I've not 'eard the like of it in years. 'E's beautiful to look it, but 'e swears like a dustman. I carn't understand 'ow the bird is going to fit into the lifestyle 'ere at Rutledge 'Ouse, but I do unnerstand why the people wot 'ad it sold it. It's plain as the nose on me face. Well, I suppose that Mr Winston will make a decision as to wot to do wif this parrot when 'e returns. Ms Penelope is very kind to animals, but I carn't imagine she'll put up wi' this for long!

Oy! Shut up now, you parrot swine! Bloody 'ell....! Bastard just called me somefink I carn't repeat 'ere in mixed comp'ny.