You might enjoy one of these.

WILD DRINKER

I've been a wild drinker for many a year,
And I always fall over, on ten pints of beer,
So now, when I’m drinking, I sit on the floor,
And I never will risk falling over no more.

CHORUS: And it's no, nay, never, no, nay never, no more,
Will I drink and fall over, no, never, no more.

I went to a pub that I used to frequent,
Despite having sworn that I'd give up for Lent.
I asked for two pints, but the barman said, "Nay,
You'll only fall down like you did yesterday".

I pulled from my pocket five new silver pounds,
And I managed to do it without falling down.
The barman said, "Sir, please choose from this list,
And I'm sorry if just now I thought you were pissed.”

I think that I'll stick now to stiff drinks and shorts,
Like whiskey and brandy and Pernods and ports,
Cut down on the volume of all that I drink,
Then at least when I throw up I won’t block the sink.

I'll go back to my girlfriend, confess what I've done,
And if she should hit me, I won’t turn and run.
I'll promise to give up, but if I should fail,
I'll see you next Friday, for ten pints of ale.

_____________________________________

The second one is:

THE INVERTED BLACKBIRD

As I roved out on a summer’s morning,
When the autumn leaves they were turning brown,
I looked up in a tree and there I saw a quare thing:
It was a female blackbird hanging upside down.

So I said to this bird, "Now, why are you thus inverted?
In other words, why are you in this manner hung?"
Then up spoke this bird from the pit of her stomach:
"It was a gentleman blackbird that did me wrong.

“He accosted me one Sunday morning,
As I flew innocently from East to West.
'Come here, young one', says he to me 'I have something to show you,
I have some bloody fine etchings above in my nest.’

“So off I flew with him, may God forgive me,
His nest was there forninst the wall,
And in the middle of the nest, there was a great big double bed,
And apart from that bed, there was sweet shag-all.

“So I said to this bird 'now where are these famous etchings?
Or could it be they aren't here at all?’
'Ha Ha!' says he. 'Now you have it',
With a sneer on his face from Ballinasloe to Youghal.

“I pass over the next incident with understandable modesty,
And look at me now, slinging by my legs,
For that dirty divil, he upped and skedaddled,
And he left me here with six fatherless eggs.

“So come all ye young female blackbirds, take heed of my warning,
In the blackbird jungle or in the town,
Don't go with any strange macho blackbirds or go to see their etchings,
Or you could end up like me, slinging upside down."