You're damned right bonobos are sexy, chimp. And you can bet your ass you ain't gettin' any from a bonobo. Bonobos don't do chimpanzees. We'll do damned near anything else, but we draw the line at chimps. Well, we don't do gorillas either, but that goes without saying. Geez, it's hard enough to get another gorilla to do a gorilla.

So forget about having any bonobo blood in your family, chimp. It's a figment of your imagination. Nobody in your family tree or family vine or whatever you have has ever made it with a bonobo. It just doesn't happen. The closest a chimp will ever get to bangin' a bonobo is polishing his knob while looking at pictures in Primatehouse magazine.