Regular Catter - my heart goes out to you. Under similar circumstances a few years ago, I had that same awful cold feeling, as if time and life itself had frozen solid. It seemed to me that the day it happened would go on forever - the longest day of my life. It's hell. But however hellish, it told me all I needed to know about the man in question. No second chances - if he can do that once, he can (and will) surely do it again. Trust goes out the door forever. As others have said, the mourning is not for the man he actually is, but the man you thought he was and the past, present and future you thought you had. Give yourself time to mourn all that and remember, like the solstice, there is only one 'longest day', then the cycle of seasons starts its motion again. It helped me a lot, in the darkest time, to make a positive study of the way a shrub outside my window changed little by little each day. Sounds crazy, perhaps, but it helped me no end.

Do you know the song "Somewhere along the road, someone waits for me" ? There ARE some lovely, genuine, honest people around in this world, male and female, and somewhere along the road you have already met some and will continue to meet them. Like, in the end, attracts like. The more you are with these like-minded people, the more you will come to recognize those who are and those who are not. It took me 37 years and many T-shirts before I met the lovely man in my life, but we recognized each other instantly for who we were, and although we sometimes say "Why didn't we meet when we were younger ?", we are just so glad that we are with each other now. Keep on walking along that road, won't you ?