you are all so kind..all advice is worth reading, even to prove to myself I'm not the only one to wear the t shirt. Still cold and shocked and yes, Liz, I do know its progressed further than "helping" Lets just say the visit to the family I thought he was on a few weeks ago was actually to this woman. I feel sorry for this new woman who is more vulnerable than I was at the time we first met. I spoke to her last night, she thought we were no longer an item, at least thats what he'd told her, I was only staying with him because I'd not be able to afford a place of my own. Its all such a mess.