A terrible and serious scandal has broken out in Japan. Secret documents have been discovered at Toho Studios, indicating that Godzilla repeatedly faked his own death in the famous monster movies! He did this as a way of increasing box office sales and public appetite for more movies. It was definitely tied in with criminal gangs and Yakuza as well, including "Boss Charlie" Sakura of the dreaded Tokyo Yakuza.

Godzilla's death was first faked at the conclusion of the history-making number one Godzilla film which astounded surprised audiences all over the world and went on to become the number one selling monster movie of all time. Godzilla was supposedly destroyed at the bottom of Tokyo harbour by a devastating secret technique machine which disintegrated him. This never happened!

Instead, it was just a bunch of ordinary fish that were semi-disintegrated by ordinary grinding machines. Further strange deaths were simulated in subsequent Godzilla films. He has died by being buried alive, by being frozen, by being burned up in a volcanoe, by being poisoned, by being catapulted into the sun, and by suffering an ingrown toenail. It turns out that NONE of these deaths actually occurred. While the public was mourning Godzilla's demise and burning candles in his memory, the shameless monster was cavorting with other well-known Japanese film monsters in a remote holiday spot in the Celebes called "Monster Island".

The repercussions of these impressively shocking and awful revelations are expected to cause tremendous distress and confusion in the Japanese film industry. Will Godzilla be able to bounce back from the shame of his exposure as a fraud? Will he be forced to commit the ultimate act of penance? No one knows for sure.

Godzilla has refused to talk to the press, and is sequestered on the grounds of Nijo Castle in Kyoto. One reporter who managed to sneak into the castle has reportedly been stepped on and then disintegrated with fiery atomic breath by Godzilla. This unfortunately resulted in the premature death of the reporter, "Sonny" Saito, who was a popular employee of Sankei Shinbun.

Everyone is now waiting with bated breath to see what startling and sudden emergency may arise next!