I believe it was originally written for Archie Fisher. It's proper title is "The Ballad of Mini Cooper" - the tune is "Hot asphalt". I can only remember fragments, but I heard it sung very recently. It's probably in a previous thread (it doesn't seem to be in the DT), but the search facility isn't working at the moment.

My name is Mini Cooper I was once as white as snow
Till I met a rally driver and a rallying did go

He took me down a shady lane and gave me such a fright
When he examined my suspension with a spanner and a light.

......
There never was a driver who was half as fast as he
He tuned my carburetter and gave my points a touch
So how could I resist him girls when he let in the clutch.

..... and my hydrolastic's bust
I've got no brakes to speak of and I think my head has gone
So don't go into the forest girls without your sumpguards on.