Hey Polly! I have saved you some work! A kind person lent me a tape of the song and I've now transcribed it, as follows, It dates from the early sixties and has all the flavour of a saucy seaside postcard - you know the kind I mean!

SCHOOL IN CHELTENHAM
As sung by TSAI CHIN

I went to school in Cheltenham
At a fashionable Ladies' College
Where I learnt what's what
And acquired a lot of
Exceedingly practical knowledge

Our reading; writing, 'rithmetic
Was positively mediocre
But we got pretty slick
At the three card trick
And we played a pretty hand of poker

We were rather weak at our Latin and Greek
But we worked with considerable fervour
And we had to cram
For our English exam
On Lady Chatterley's Lover.

I loved my school in Cheltenham
With the chestnut trees so shady.
And I now embrace
All the charm and grace
Of a typical English lady.

I shared a room in Cheltenham
With a daughter of the landed gentry
Whose most refined
Little one-tracked mind
Was completely elementary

Our marks in French and algebra
Were a series of disasters
But at forging cheques
Or at S-E-X
We were absolute past masters

In the upper sixth form we were studying form
And we put on the money with the porter
And at night our Head
Used to tuck us bed
With an outsized whisky and water

Let's give three cheers for Cheltenham
Where the chestnut trees are shady
Where I learnt of vice
And all things nice
Like a typical English lady