I'm not so sure about that Clinton. For years I've played with what some folks have described as the biggest bottleneck slide they've ever seen. It's actually a frictionless marine propellershaft bearing that I found during one of my many garage sale visits. It took me a while to find an appropriate retort, but finally I began to quip back at those who would joke about it.

"It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size."

Upon further reflection, this song emerged. It's been a sizable hit for me. I only wish I had a bottleneck slide version of it worked up. ;o)

It's Not The Size Of Your Slide
Reggie Miles © 2004

It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size.
Ain't no need to get jealous of the other guy's.
Boys you better get hip to this tip to the wise.
It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size.

A long time ago it used to be slick,
To walk real soft and carry a big stick,
But I'm here to remind all you big stick guys,
It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size.

All you misters have heard sisters testify.
It ain't the meat it's the motion that satisfies.
I'd like to confirm that notion and dispel the lies.
It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size.

All you hicks, diggin' me pick my licks,
The way that I slip and glide.
If you want all the girls to roll their eyes,
It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size.

All you boys, makin' all that noise,
I hope you now realize.
Don't apologize for your merchandise.
It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size.

If you listen to the words of this simple song,
You'll know it don't matter if your length ain't long.
Yes, I may be wrong, but I surmise.
It's not the size of your slide, it's the slide of your size.