My ex is a great ex-husband, as I always knew he would be. He's a great dad and a stellar grand-father. He was quite controlling back then (married from 1972 to 1987), and I was miserably unhappy being married to him, but he's on the very short list of important people in my life. I wish that I could have built a life-long marriage with my kids' father, but I think we've saved our kids from most of the destructive fall-out of bitter divorces.

What did I do to him? For one thing, I nagged him constantly. I never nag my now husband, because he's always three steps ahead of me on whatever I think "maybe we ought to....", whereas my ex (and my daughter) always thinks I'm somehow ridiculously anal for wanting to get (XYZ) seen to, taken care of, put away, whatever. So I'm a much nicer person in my second marriage than I ever was in my first. I'm now very happily re-married for 9 1/2 years, so someone who suits me fabulously. We're planning to invite my ex over for Xmas day, as we often do.