I sang this one last Sunday at a Song and Ale and hadn't sung it for ages. I collected it from Joan myself about seven years ago (lovely traditional singer then she sang this one, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth!) She even sent me a tape of her singing it.
        
Anti Social Problem.

I've an anti social problem, it is driving me insane,
Since I was a lad, things have got bad,
Many's the time I thought I'd go mad,
People they did shun me, now I've a broken heart,
I've an anti social problem and the problem is I … smell.


I used to court a girl named Alice, met her at the local hop,
Round the dance floor we'd trip, we'd dive and we'd dip,
Then right in the middle I'd let one slip,
People they did scatter, all made for the door,
I've an anti social problem, as my bottom tends to snore.


So I went to see the Doctor, told him what my problem was,
He started to frown, said, "Walk up and down."
He'd picked a bad day, 'cos I sure spread them round,
He grabbed a big long pole with hooks on, I looked down in despair,
I said "What you goner do with that thing?"
He said, "Open some windows for air!"


So I tried to cure my problem , tried a diet free from beans,
No curry, please, no mushy peas, no onions,
No baccy, no senna pod seeds,
Nothing seems to cure it; I still drop one here and there,
So now I dose with Fairy Liquid, (Altogether!)
And blow bubbles in the air!


Cuckoo Oak used to sing it and possibly wrote it. Enjoy!!