I found the Burl Ives book and recalled this thread and thought I'd check to see if it had ever been complete. Don't know if anyone is still interested, but here goes -as per Burl Ives, "Are You There, MO-RI-AR-I-TY?":

ARE YOU THERE, MORIARITY?
(from Burl Ives)

Whin first I kem to Dublin town
'Twas in eighteen eighty three,
I wint direct, wid me head erect,
For to join the D.M.P.
Me majestic feet woke Kevin Street,
As I walked up proud an' free;
For well I knew they could nto do
Wid out me, MORIARITY!

Chorus:
I'm a well known bobby of the stalwart squad,
I belong to the D.M.P.
And the girls all cry as I pass by:
Are you there, MORIARITY?

On, on, I wint widout accidint,
Till the station came in view,
Then meself I saw as a limb of the law,
Dressed out like a big Boy Blue.
As thro' the gate of me future fate
I sthrode on manfully,
All the polis creid when they seen me sthride,
"An' is this MORIARITY?"

Chorus

Wid no delay, I drew me pay
And began for to study too,
A polisman I soon beame,
Prepared for me job to do.
Theives, far and near, I filled with fear,
Gaol-birds avoided me;
Malefactors trembled when they heard,
"Here's MORIARITY!"

Chorus

Whin to coort I went, on business bent,
The Jedge on his binch looked grim;
But after awhile I's see him smile,
If I happened to glance at him.
Thin I'd hear him say in a solemn way:
"Now, and who could that man be?"
"My Lord," said the clerk, "he's a man of mark,
Name of MO-RI-AR-I-TY."

Chorus

The Latin I knew in a week or two,
And I gave them soon a shock
Whin I hurled a junk av a "quid pro nunc."
With a "post" and a "propter hoc."
A "habeas corpus" or "aqua fortis,"
Was all the same to me!
Whin I'd take the floor the crier would roar:
"Wisha! Here's MO-RI-AR-I-TY!"

Chorus

The ladies too, I very soon knew,
Wor smitten, wan and all;
For beneath me spell, they quickly fell,
And I held them in me thrall.
Wid me handsome face, wid me charm and grace,
They thought and they dreamt of me;
And whin I'd pass by I could hear them sigh:
"Oh, I love MO-RI-AR-I-TY!"

Chorus

Whin me work is done and me coorse is run,
And I've walked on me last long beat,
And to Heaven's shore I'll quickly soar,
Saint Peter there to meet,
Sure, I hope he'll say, in a kindly way,
"Is it there, Tim, yerself I see;
Yer reward you've won for yer work well done,
Shtep in! MO-RI-AR-I-TY!"

Chorus