Your corrections are more accurate than my rough interpretation, I'm sure. =)
Not being familiar with other versions, I had no context to put it all in -- I was basically going from scratch in trying to hear what he was saying. Not knowing how true it was to Blind Willie, I just put in everything I (thought I) heard. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find Paul had taken a few liberties, at least in the scatty-spoken-y parts.
Jim being at least somewhat familiar with two versions himself (and Stewie and Dave at least one other) I defer to the judgement of my betters.
Grinnin' like a mule eatin' sawbriars,
*elektra*
P.S. I hope I remembered the line breaks right... otherwise this is going to look VERY silly -- sorry! *lol*