I'm with Megan L.: it's VERY easy (not to mention lazy, narrow-minded, self-righteous, etc.) to judge; to be supportive of another person who is in an extremely painful and complex situation demands actual compassion and sympathy--empathy may be too much to ask, especially if you haven't been there yourself. As the author of this thread pointed out from what sounds like bitter experience, "all affairs end in tears for (at least one) somebody".

Been there, done that, not going there again!

~D