a fellow is talking to his irish buddy ad says, " i gotta stop drinking that irish whisky" "how come?" asked his friend. "Because every saturday night i go out and drink a fifth of the stuff, come home, make mad passionate love to the wife, wake up sunday morning and go to church." "whats wrong with that?" the irishman asks. "a lot of good irishman go out on saturday night, drink a fifth of good irish whisky, come home do the wife, and go to mass on sunday" " i know" said his friend, "but i'm jewish.

three irishmen, drunk as can be come staggering down the street singing danny boy at the top of their lungs. they stopped in front of flahertys house still singing. after a few minutes the window flies open and mrs. flaherty yells out, why don't you drunken sots go somewhere else. are you mrs. flaherty? asks one of the drunks. you know dam well i'm am she says. well can you tell us which one of us is your husband so the other two of us can go home.

mahoneys wife has to go out of town for the day on a business trip. the last thing she says to her husband is to not go out to the bar in her absence. as soon as the wife is gone he heads down to clancys pub. after spending most of the day there he decides he'd better get back on home. he gts up from the bar takes a few steps and falls flat on his face. gets up, takes a few more steps and again, falls flat on his face. all the way home for three blocks its up down up down until he finally makes it home just after he gets in the house his wife shows up.she walks in the door just as the phone was ringing. she answers it and hangs up after a short conversations. she looks at mahony and says, so you went to clancys pub after all did ya. well yes dear said mahoney, but how did you know? thats was the barman on the phone calling to say you left your wheel chair there.