BROKEN HEARTED LOVERS' STEW by Benny Hill And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two In a broken-hearted lovers' stew There are nine carrots to remind me of the ring I bought for you Some mint for all the crazy things that we 'mint' to do A lettuce, 'cause your Mum and Dad would not 'lettuce' alone I won't put in the truffles, you've got truffles of your own An artichoke for the hearty jokes your father used to tell And as he was a Welshman we'll have a leek as well And your cousin, the religious one, so sanctimonious For him some loafs and fishes 'cause that's all he ever does And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two In a broken-hearted lovers' stew There's a radish 'cause you kept repeating that your love was true A beetroot for the time I said that I'd "bee-troot"-to you Some shallots for the time I said I love you such "shallot" Some capers to remind me of what up to which we got A turnip for the way you always used to "turnip" late A melon for the "melon"-choly way I used to wait A chilli for how I felt as I waited for you And a marrow to remind me of what I was frozen to And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two In a broken-hearted lovers' stew There's a swede to remind me of the man you left for me An egg because you used to egg me on incessantly And your little baby brother, what a messy little kid For him some wine and water, 'cause that's all he ever did Oh, I was fond of olives and you liked herbs I know I gave up seeing "Olive" but "Herb" didn't want to go So for the man who won you, there is one thing I must do Put in some sage and onions 'cause he wants stuffing too And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two In a broken-hearted lovers' stew (tongue in cheek of course!) brad
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