...Ours didn't go exactly to plan. We were booked to play at this pub somewhere in Lacashire (I won't say where!) the gig had come via an artistes agent,the promised snow hadn't arrived but it was windy and very wet by the time we arrived at 7pm to set up. It was a big pub with 'Doormen' on the door. They were very polite and helpful and even helped us in with the PA. There was a stage with a small dressing room area behind it, they bought us some drinks! and we arranged to go on at nine o'clock when the manager came out to see us. We busied ourselves setting up the PA. The Disco chap to our left had already cranked up his system to Krakatoan levels and the area to the front of the stage began to fill up with a Hen party of women supping drinks through penis shaped straws, later on (I presume) the one who was about to get wed had a visit from a strapping buck in combat fatigues who proceeded to strip and throw her around wearing nothing but a toothy grin and his none too concealing jockstrap and a beret, after having her rub shaving foam into his buttocks and other 'points south' he departed to his next lucrative gig.
It was an impossibility to set up the sound with this racket blaring out but we did our best. One of the staff came over and said would we mind if he patched our system into the house system so it would be louder, we agreed and he messed about for ages. Just before we went on at I guess 9.15pm the manager came over and got his big feet tangled in a wire and pulled part of the PA onto the floor (which I'm sure didn't help) so when we went on the sound was a sorry mess and we sounded shite! after struggling for a while they decided to call a halt and paid us off! In a fit of gentlemanliness my mate (not me) offered to take a reduced fee but the manager was having none of it and paid us the full amount!!! So we had finished by 10.30pm and packed up and buggered off home. The night was very windy and wet, the rain coming down in smoky sheets.
We meandered back to Huddersfield through Lancashire getting lost several times (why is it there seem to be not enough signposts in Lancashire?)
So, at least we got paid and didn't have to suffer for too long! they even bought us 2 drinks! So, not too bad a night after all!