Ok, you asked for it! I only hope some of you are familiar with the origin tune. There's nothing haw-haw funny in this, but it's heavy in irony (and other stuff of that sort).

False Fruit On The Bough

(to the tune of The False Knight on the Road)

Oh, never eat that apple, said the Lord God on high above; Oh, no I won't do that, says Adam unto the Lord.
Just live here in Eden, said the Lord God of love;
Yes Lord, then says Adam, with Eve here I won't get bored.

Oh, why not eat that apple, said smart Eve unto her beau:
I guess then I will try it, says Adam unto his wife.
Now we need some clothes, said smart Eve, with no tresseau:
I guess I'll have to work, says Adam, and got a life.


Oh, don't you buy that Apple, said Rev Jim Peasb'ro:
Oh, no we won't do that, say his church goers and his peers.
Shall we buy that Apple? said woman to her beau;
Yes, please, let's do that, said the man, I'd like to dear!