On hearing the news this afternoon that Iran were returning the members of our navy as a gift, I tried to imagine how this incident would pan out on a smaller scale, such as a scenario with you(Y) and your neighbour(N).

Y: Hey, You have stolen 15 gnomes from my garden. Give them back.
N: No I haven't. They were in my garden, so I am going to keep them.
Y: They were not in your garden. They are mine and I want them back.
N: No you cannot have them, I am keeping them.
Y: If you don't give them back I'm going to get very angry.
N: Tough. I am keeping them. They are really happy. Look, I will show you a photo.
Y: Why has girly gnome got an empty crisp packet on her head?
N: She prefers it. All Girly gnomes do.
Y: I am getting really annoyed now. If you don't give back my gnomes I will never speak to you again. And if you still don't give them back I'm going to beat you up.
N: Yeah, you and whose army?
Y: Well, my mate George across the road is upset with you and has promised to help me beat you up. You know that he always backs me up........eventually. Even that turkey the other side of you thinks that you are out of order.
N: They are my gnomes, but if you want them that much I shall give them to you as a present.
Y: And I promise that I will not beat you up now.

Y: ( under your breath and with a wry smile ) But I will in the near future.