The man who would not die(sca song) The manne who would not Die I've armored up a thousand times for country and for king And many's the tale that I could tell or song that I could sing. I've fought in Beltane's driving rain And struggled for each breath At salt wars and Oleno where We damn near froze to death I've had my share of bruises and I've watched the arrows fly But the strangest thing that I've ever seen Was the man who would not die He stood a towering seven feet A giant among'st men His armour was of twelve guage steel His hide it was of ten From a land most far away he came Their champion and King And many crafty ways he had To make your helmet ring The battle lines they soon were joined And much to my surprise I was locked in single combat with The man who wouldn't die We circled round a time or two Then I opened up the show With an underhanded wrist shot which Is still my favorite blow He didn't even try to block Just brought that greatsword down And split my helm completely from The chin up to the crown And though my sword was still entrapped In the dent made in his side "What a mighty knight" his people cheered "Is the man who wouldn't die" Full four and twenty fighters fell Before his awesome might And though many blows did land it seems That every one was light The battle soon was over and By God's own blood he went Off to the sides to doff his gear And hammer out the dent's The second battle soon began And I took another try Bearing a sword named "Rhino's Bane" For the Man who would not die For "Rhino's Bane" was a special blade Immortal for those who know And if he had not felt those blows He'd Damn Well Feel One Now! Three feet of rattan I center drilled Then hollowed out the head And filled that hole with six or maybe seven pounds of lead A single shot was all I'd get I raised that sword on high And buried it within the helm of the man who would not die He didn't even bat an eye Just calmly struck me down And then went on the clear the field Of squires, Knights and Crown I pondered why this man was not A'stretched out on the dirt I guess a head shot does no good with nothing there to hurt The third engagement was delayed To give the chiurgeon's time To pry the sword from out the head Of the man who would not die A battle deep within the woods Was the last fight of the day And the men remaining on my side Went on their knees to pray "Oh Lord, If you care for us Allow your moon to fall Upon this man for that would be The only blow he'd call" But as we marched atop a hill A plan occurred which I Thought maybe could lead to the death of the man who would not die Upon the hill there lay a stone A full six feet in girth "Oh gather round my fighters bold We'll bring this man to earth!" Ten stalwart lads I need with me to Strike the final blow While the rest shall keep behemoth here occupied below And when he tries to fight you From up above will fly This boulder full upon the frame Of the man who would not die It happened just as I forsaw From out the woods he ran And stopped there right below us as According to the plan The men below fought bravely while The men above did strain To send that boulder from the hill Onto his alleged brain At last the stone it stirred to life And with a final pry We sent that boulder on it's way To the man who wouldn't die Knocking trees to left and right That fearsome missle sped And with a final bounce it came To rest upon his head His arms and legs were all that we Could see beneath the stone But when we came from atop the hill We heard our victim groan Astounded round him 'bout we stood As the day bled into night And heard him say one final time "My lords, that blow was light!"
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