Chris: In your shoes, I would be angry, too. It is the school's headteacher who I would be angry with. Irrespective of what the money may be used for, the headteacher is manipulating parents into giving to a cause to which they may or may not wish to contribute. "Conspicuous giving" tactics such as this (e.g. non-uniform days; wearing particular colours etc. etc.) leave parents with little choice. All children will want to come to school wearing something different, or doing whatever activity is planned (such as tying the ribbons). Parents do not want their child to be the only one not taking part and feeling humiliated by the teachers and the other children, so the parents believe they must go along with it. This is bullying and manipulation.

Generally, charity events in schools are for causes to which the majority of parents would wish to contribute anyway, such as Red Nose Day, and headteachers are on pretty safe ground in organizing them. This one is more controversial and I think your headteacher is very misguided in assuming all parents would wish to take part.

I hope you will be writing to your Local Education Authority and the Chairman of school governors about this.

- jeanie