Here's another lame excuse, based on some story, very loose.

T'was a dry and dusty summers day,
Bill had been out walking,br> His shrivelled tongue, was laying dry,
Hardly fit for talking
Billys old eyes jumped for joy,
As he shuffled round the bend,
Cause in the scrub, was a country pub,
" The Boozer at Dead-End".

Now Bill, had never been a one,
To tipple, in the morning
Cause early drinking, leads to, late,
Of that, I give you warning,
But thirst had got the better of,
His sober constitution,
He slid on up, into the pub,
And alcohol pollution.

Bill knew of early drinking,
But he still took the bait,
The beer rushed to his belly,
He had no time to wait
He was meeting up with Mabel
somewhere down the road,
He left the pub, a'staggering,
And stinking like a toad.

He caught up with his Mabel
He had thought up, an excuse,
He knew she might not swallow it,
And he'd cop a grand abuse,
But Billy was a tryer, and also quite a liar
So he slurred, and spun his story,
He put it to good use

"You're looking angry, Mabel,
And I wouldn't blame you, hon'
But I've just saved the parsons life,
We've only got the one,
He'd taken quite a tumble,
He fell head first in a keg,
And ya' know he would have surely drowned,
Ya' wouldn't want him dead."

"There was no time,I thought real fast,
I grabbed a garden hose,
I stuck it in the barrel,
Just past the parsons nose,
I swigged the amber fluid,
That was frothing in that keg
Would you believe the stuff was beer
See, I spilt some on me leg".

Now Mabel looked suspicious,
But she kept her lips shut tight,
She'd chat first, to the parson,
She would check him out, alright,
But Bill he smiled contented,
He knew the reason why,
The parson wouldn't spill the beans,
He'd been drinking on the sly.