With all due respect Susan, I think your post is very severe. This lady is obviously seeking help from people here, for the very reason that she cares a great deal about this man. She too is changing, because of where her path is taking her, and from that, many things can happen.

There is nothing 'wrong' with anyone on the autism circle. I have a friend in Myspace who has two sons with autism and she believes we are ALL on the same circle, just at different points, giving us all different qualities, talents, needs, etc.

By coming to understand what part of the circle her former (at the moment) partner is on, then she will be able to walk beside him as a friend, if they should both want that to happen. I'd hope that something more comes from this, as I can read her sense of loss, in her words.

Surely it's simply about learning to understand each other. Those who regard only certain people as 'normal' need to let go of that concept entirely. We are all 'normal', yet we all have 'special needs', some more than others, that's all.

"Quits is quits"

This lady isn't into "quitting" else she'd not be here! She's into teaching herself, seeking help from others, learning to understand, but more importantly *wanting* to understand. We all need to learn each other's language, when to give each other space, recognise signs, realise there are different ways to approach things in life, be that intimacy, humour, outlook, whatever.

Below is another wise person, who tells you of her life, yet, how many would simply 'label' her, pass her by, without ever knowing or caring what was going on inside? So many of us have so much to learn.

Amanda Baggs - In My Language