I think the song you are looking for is "Ralph and Alice" written by Joel Mabus and performed on his CD "Promised Land". Here are the lyrics:

ALICE AND RALPH
by Joel Mabus

Alice is a woman.................... Ralph is a man
Alice likes to dialogue................Ralph never can
Alice wants them both to do aerobics every night
Ralph wants to go down to the bar and watch the fight
Alice wants to go to Paris and study Art............
Ralph knows all the Three Stooges movies by heart.....
Alice wants a kid, Ralph wants a dog,
Alice does ballet, Ralph likes to clog,
Everybody knows that Alice & Ralph don't fit
Everybody knows that Alice and Ralph are a split-up waitin' to split

CHORUS: Oh, Alice and Ralph, Ralph and Alice
King and Queen in their own little palace.
Ralph and Alice, Alice and Ralph,
Pick your partner and you suit yourself


Alice is a lady...............Ralph is a guy
Alice offers options...............Ralph just tells you WHY
Alice blows off steam by going shopping at the mall
...Ralph puts his fist through the wall.
Alice loves those old movies that make her cry........
Ralph likes the ones where all the Nazis die....
Alice likes to ski, Ralph likes to skate
Alice shows up early, Ralph gets there late
Everybody knows that Alice and Ralph won't work,
Everybody knows that she is a fool and he is just a jerk.


Alice needs her sleep................Ralph has to snore
Alice tries to fascinate....................Ralph tends to bore
Alice defines her worth by accomplishing her goals
Ralph likes to work the remote control
Alice appreciates the finest of cuisine.........
Ralph prefers his weenie cooked with bean.......
Alice wants to talk, Ralph wants to read
Alice wants to stay, Ralph wants to leave
Everybody knows these two should never pair
Everybody knows except Alice and Ralph, & Alice and Ralph don't care.

If this is not what you were looking for, it is still a great song in the same genre. If you have an opportunity to see Joel Mabus live, take it. He is 110% pleasure.

Roger in Baltimore