By crikey, I find myself in agreement with Mr Orwell on most the finer points of tea making....!
Nope, never milk first. How can you get the correct amount of milk in???
As for the strength of the taste of you tea Olddude, Assam and Kenyan tea do taste very strong compared to other teas. Just use slightly less tea and don't leave it to brew so long. You may want to experiment with other teas.
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sj