Many years ago I was singing in a club in Manchester and sang a song which had the word matelot in it. World's Biggest Folk Bore used to inhabit said club. On returning to my seat, WBFB handed me a note. It said "the word matelot is only used in the Royal Navy. Your song was about civilian sailors. I suggest you change it."

Come to think of it, WBFB also used to inhabit a session in The Jolly Angler, also in Manchester. He quite fancied himself as a song writer, although I don't think anybody else did. One night I sang one of my own compositions, and he obviously rather enjoyed it. He nobbled me as I was coming out of the gents, ready to make my way home. "That was a very fine song. Allow me to congratulate you on your perspicacity on learning it. Where did you get it?"

When I told him I was the author, the look on his face was priceless.