David asked about the lyrics to 'Hello Mater, Hello Pater' by Terry-Thomas. I don't remember *all* the lyrics, which is frustrating, but here's what I recall:

Hello Mater, Hello Pater I shall mail this letter later Here am I at good old Eaton Our athletic teams are almost never beaten

We play rugby, where you kick it Then we take a crack at cricket If you buy a season ticket You could watch me kick it on a sticky wicket

Loved your letter, it was thrilling Thank you for the extra shilling! Eaton's quaint and quite ironic They keep serving tea instead of gin and tonic

--

Oh, I say, we had a lovely hunt to-day Except for Cecil Hem-ing-way He's such a clumsy ox, his socks Were eaten by the fox!

Don't feel blue, oh Mater, Pater I miss you My life is complicated too I fired my valet today He left my vest unpressed

--

Is it true 'bout Lady Plinker? I do hope so, she's a stinker! How is Cedric, oh incidentally, Does he really keep his Aston in his Bentley?

...and that's where the memory fails.

Curt